The most major change in the last 12 years has come in the form of vag prep. It is a whole new scene man. I mean, of course there is prep involved when you are married....I am not an animal, however, you are more willing to let someone see you on your less prepped days when married. But for a first time, GOOD LORD....it seems like it is almost a full time gig.
In talking to my girlfriends, there are not too many options. While discussing full hair removing cream, like Nair, according to "M" it leaves a strong smell that she has noticed while sitting next to her friends. I am not trying to ADD scents, so that is out. In discussing full waxing with "C", she said that the entire area swells up and gets an angry red color for days on end. Plus it causes some nasty ingrown hairs which can lead to infection. I am not going for "angry"...or, to be honest "swollen" and "red"....and let's not even get started on "infection" Nope, these are not pretty mental pictures.
I guess that leaves us where we all began, shaving. That is what I have been doing for years on end, so I guess I will continue. I am not totally satisfied with this option, because....well...I am BLIND.....and wear glasses. You can't wear glasses in the shower...well I guess TECHNICALLY you could, but they are pretty damn useless all steamed up. So, it is pretty much a random attempt at the job. If I really want to get technical, I have to get out of the shower, mid job, and peer into the full length mirror on the outside of my bathroom door. This is not fun at ALL.....it entails me putting on my glasses and quickly looking at my progress in a mad rush before my glasses get steamed up...and freezing.....then jumping back in the shower to try to get the places I remember I saw still needed work.
This is pretty successful, but it takes time......alot of time. I know, it is worth it, but it is not something you want to be doing several time a week. Sometimes, you just gotta roll with the overgrowth. Not MAJOR...just some. Which, I have found to be the PERFECT birth-control. I mean, really, there is NO WAY you are gonna hook up with someone for the first time looking like "Lady Sasquatch". Not even semi. It has to be within the last half a day, or NO BUENO dude.
This leaves me wondering, what do all the single ladies do? I mean REALLY...do they do it fresh several times a week......or do they go with "Jungle P" on the regular? Plus, what do the ladies who wear glasses do? Seriously, how do you do the precision maintenance if you can't see the work station? There is some pretty important stuff there that I really don't want to slice and/or dice.
Since I am a big fan of my "area", I really want to send it out in the world looking it's absolute best. I want it to wow the audience....a quiet hush to fall over the crowd at it's unveiling. But all of this takes immense work and effort. But posting this, I am both looking for help from my girls and letting the guys know how much forethought is put into it. It is hard work looking this good.
I just laughed so hard I almost fell off the chair and everyone thinks I'm crazy but it was worth it. Anyhow as for advise/input... The waxing thing isn't that bad. I've been doing it every month since I was 18 and if I'm gonna "see" someone while it's growing out then I'll just trim by shaving. Also, yes the first time it gets pretty red but if you keep up with it every 4 weeks your skin will be used to it. I've never ever ever gotten an infection and exfoliate daily to avoid ingrowns. Hope that helps:)
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh hysterically because I think all girls out of the dating scene for awhile feel the same way and have the same questions. I am super sensitive but my waxer uses a cream wax. I am not all about getting up close and personal with one of my bff's like that...but she recommends doing a bikini wax which is relatively not embarrassing or painful and taking and electric trimmer to do the trimming at home and you can shape too. All of this can be done dry and out of the shower. :) Ulta (we have one in Oxnard) or ulta.com has some good ones with different nozzles. Plus, I think if you sign up to receive Ulta offers you get an instant discount. Mine are remington and conair. Finally, if you don't go bare remember conditioner. ahaha :) xoxoxoxo
ReplyDelete"Winter B" or as you called it "Jungle something" is perfect Birth Control...but only during the winter. Lemme know if you want the name of my waxer...she is just in Camarillo and I don't know anyone else who uses this painless wax for sensitive skin. She does me, my sis and my cousin (who has the most sensitive skin on the freakin planet)...we are all pretty sensitive and the cream wax doesn't bother us a bit.